Sermon: "Love Comes First"
The Right Reverend Charles G. vonRosenberg
Third Bishop of East Tennessee

[This sermon by Bishop vonRosenberg was delivered using the following notes.]

My best friend in the fifth grade was named Bill. He played second base on our school softball team, and I was the shortstop. We enjoyed each other and always seemed to have a lot in common during those wonderfully innocent times. It was a sad day for me, therefore, when Bill and his family moved away. The fact is that I can still remember that day.

The next time I saw Bill was eleven years later. We were both seniors at Chapel Hill, but we did not discover each other until just days before graduation. I remember well also the time of our reunion. After only a few minutes, all those years seemed to melt away. They amounted to nothing at all. We seemed to have had similar experiences. We knew intuitively what the other had thought or done in various circumstances. It was as though we were back in the second grade again ... or, as though Bill had never moved. The link between us was a very real thing. The connection of friendship had endured.

I am more and more convinced that such connections are tremendously important to us in life ... to our well-being and adjustment and ability to cope in general. Connections between people - and, indeed, among all parts of God's creation - provide the basic stuff of life itself. In fact, I have come to believe that we cannot overemphasize their significance to us.

Connections weave the fabric of life, and we are all parts of that fabric. Those connections make sense out of our experience by securing us within the cloth which is life. They provide meaning in the midst of what appears to be chaos. Life's fabric binds us to the world and to our place in the midst of it all. The fabric sometimes is the scarf of joy which we toss happily in the air ... and at other times, it is the cloth with which we dry our tears.

Therefore, I say with certainty that our connections weave the fabric of our lives ... connections between and among ourselves and other people; connections between our inner world of the mind and spirit and the outer world of experience; connections between the life we hope for and the life we live; and connections in time between the past and the present, as we weave our way into the future.

On this Mother's Day, we appropriately remember the significant relationships between mothers and children … and we give thanks for those connections. Surely the connections within family relationships provide us much of the cloth of our lives. I imagine, for instance, that there will be some proud mothers here as the young people are confirmed in a few minutes.

I also remind us that we are blessed, as Episcopalians, to be part of a connected church. That is, we are bound together - with "bonds of affection," as is commonly expressed these days - with Episcopalians in other churches in our diocese and in other dioceses within the Episcopal Church … and, even beyond, with those Christians in the worldwide Anglican Communion. Such connections are important to our identity and to our being as Episcopal people of God.

The Gospel reading today refers to several connections which are significant in our faith and life. Indeed, an interesting lens in reading the Bible is to consider the connections mentioned there - connections that surely provide the fabric of life itself. In particular in the sermon today, I want us to consider one connection from our Gospel reading - a connection which is crucial to the Christian life that we seek to live. In fact, this connection has a great deal to do with our relationships with God and with other people … and yet, the way it is expressed in the Bible may surprise us. This is the fundamental connection between love and obedience.

We experience this connection in everyday life. What parent has not dreaded - and what child has not relished - the typical complaint of siblings: "You always did love him - or her - best"? And from that observation may be drawn the highly improbable conclusion that children make so easily: "Since you do not love me, I will not mind what you tell me to do." That's one kind of connection between obedience and love.

Then, another step on the slippery slope of growing up is the attempt to earn love by means of obedience. If we are good, then perhaps Mommy and Daddy will love us more. Of course, mommies and daddies have been known to use that leverage on occasion themselves. Do the good thing - or give the right answer, or win the best prize - and then, I'll love you. Again, notice the connection - in this case, also, obedience, and then, love.

I am afraid that is the point beyond which some people sadly never grow in relationship with our heavenly Father. Indeed, much of what we read in the religious press these days is stuck right there. In this stuck place, we may be inclined to think, "If I obey the Commandments or the laws or the rules, then God will surely love me." And so, we set about trying to earn that love - and we may spend a lifetime in the attempt.

But if we think along those lines, we miss the point of this very important connection between love and obedience - and there most certainly is a connection! The point is this: God loves us already - not because of what we do, but, usually, in spite of it. The relationship of love from God toward us is as fundamental as creation itself. That is what the person of Jesus Christ is all about - the highest and most complete expression of God's love toward human beings.

The challenge, then, is what we do with that love from God. Do we feel unworthy and continue to try to earn that which we can never deserve - the love of God? Or, do we accept God's love gladly and gratefully, and then, in response, attempt to be obedient? If we grasp and perceive a bit of the truth of the love of God - and a bit is really all we can hope to perceive - then with joy, we will desire to be obedient to our calling as children of God.

Love and, then, obedience - you see, that is how this connection is woven. Thus Jesus says, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." He does not say, "Keep my commandments, and then I will love you." And that is precisely the point. Love results in obedience, not the other way around. God loves us first of all. Then, in response to God's love, we love God back. And then, because of love, we seek to keep God's commands. Love comes first.

What if we lived our lives with love as the basis of relationships rather than as the byproduct? What if we accepted God's love as something given to us who are His creatures, simply because of our being? What if we began by loving other people rather than by making them prove their worthiness of our love? What if we could count on love from others rather than always believing we have to earn that love?

We may never see the day in this life when the world looks like that - when love is the basis for relationships rather than a reaction to behavior of someone else. But we can begin to make a difference - to start with love - in our church, in our families, and in our other relationships. And who knows what transformation might take place as a result!

"If you love me, you will keep my commandments." Love comes first!

Copyright © 2006 The Episcopal Diocese of East Tennessee