Sermon: "Love Comes First"
The Right Reverend Charles G. vonRosenberg
Third Bishop of East Tennessee

[This sermon by Bishop vonRosenberg was delivered using the following notes.]

My best friend in the fifth grade was named Bill. He played second base on our school softball team, and I was the shortstop. We enjoyed each other and always seemed to have a lot in common in those wonderfully innocent times. It was a sad day for me, therefore, when Bill and his family moved away. The fact is that I can still remember that day.

The next time I saw Bill was eleven years later. We were both seniors at Chapel Hill, but we had not discovered each other until just a few days before graduation. I remember well also the day of our reunion. After only a few minutes, all those years seemed to melt away. They amounted to nothing at all. We seemed to have had similar experiences in the intervening years, and we knew precisely what the other had thought or done in various situations. It was as though we were back in the fifth grade again … or, more accurately, as though Bill had never moved. The link between us was a very real thing. The connections of friendship had endured.

I am more and more convinced that such connections are crucial for us in life … to our well-being and adjustment and ability to cope in general. Connections between people are certainly significant … connections like the one between Bill and me. But people connections are not the only ones of which I speak. Indeed, I think also of our connections with place and with time and with message and event.

Such connections weave the fabric of life, and we are all parts of that fabric. Those connections make sense out of our experience by securing us within the fabric. They provide meaning in the midst of what appears to be chaos. Life’s fabric binds us to the world and to our place in that world. The fabric sometimes is the scarf of joy which we toss happily in the air … and at other times, it is the cloth with which we dry our tears.

Therefore, I say with certainty that these connections weave the fabric of our lives – connections between and among ourselves and other people; connections between our inner world of the mind and spirit and the outer world of experience; connections between the life we hope for and the life we live; and connections in time between the past and the present, as we weave our way into the future.

The Gospel reading today refers to several connections that are significant in our faith and life. One in particular is the connection of relationships among God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. I commend your attention to that connection and to its essential place in understanding the faith we profess to believe. God is one, and yet we know God in three persons. That faith affirmation lies at the heart of what we believe.

However, in this time together, I want us to consider another connection mentioned in the Gospel – a connection that involves the Christian life we live. In fact, this connection has a great deal to do with our relationships with God and with other people. And this is the fundamental connection between love and obedience.

We experience this connection in everyday life. What parent has not dreaded – and what child has not relished – the typical complaint of siblings: “You always did love him – or her – best”? And from that observation may be drawn the highly improbable conclusion that children make so easily: “Since you do not love me, I will not do what you ask.” That, then, is one kind of connection – or disconnection – between love and obedience.

Another step on the slippery slope of growing up is the attempt to earn love by means of obedience. If we are good, then perhaps Mommy and Daddy will love us. Of course, Mommies and Daddies have been known to use that leverage on occasion themselves. Do the good thing – or give the right answer, or win the best prize – and then, I’ll love you. Again, notice the connection. In this case, obedience precedes love.

I am afraid that is the stage beyond which many of us sadly never grow in our relationship with our heavenly Father. We think, “If I obey the Commandments and the laws and the rules, then, God will have to love me.” And so, we set about trying to earn that love – and we spend a lifetime in the attempt.

But we miss the point of this very important connection that way – and there most certainly is a connection! The point is that God loves us already – not because of what we do, but usually, in spite of it. The relationship of love directed from God toward us is as fundamental as creation itself. That is what the person of Jesus Christ is all about – the highest expression of God’s love toward human beings.

The problem, then, is what we do with what has been given to us. What do we do with God’s prior love … the love that does not depend on our actions? Do we feel unworthy and continue to try to earn that which we can never deserve – the love of God? Or, do we accept God’s love gladly and gratefully, and then, in response, attempt to be obedient? If we grasp and perceive a bit of the truth of the love of God – and a bit is really all that we can hope to perceive – then with joy, we will desire to be obedient to our calling as children of God.

Love and then, obedience – that is how this connection is woven. Thus, Jesus says, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” He does not say, “Keep my commandments, and then I will love you.” And that is precisely the point. Love results in obedience – not the other way around.

What if we lived our lives with love as the basis of relationships rather than as the byproduct? What if we accepted God’s love as something given to us who are His creatures, simply because of our being? What if we began by loving other people rather than by making them prove their worthiness of our love? What if we could count on love from others rather than always believing we have to earn that love? In summary, what if we lived as though we got right the connection between love and obedience?

We may never see the day in this life when the world looks like that – when love is the basis for life rather than a byproduct. But we can begin to make a difference – to start with love – in our church, in our relationships, and in our families. And who knows what transformation might take place as a result!

“If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” Love comes first!

Copyright © 2003 The Episcopal Diocese of East Tennessee